We cause the very relationship problems we complain about but we don’t realize we’re causing it so we feel like victims and we tell our partners, it’s all the other person’s fault.
– David Burns, Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work
This is good news. It’s empowering really because if you create the problem, you have it in your control to change it. So look at your complaints in any of your relationships, and then find your part in the problem. Sometimes you can see it very clearly, but sometimes you may not. You may have to really search to see how you contribute to the problem. Once you see it, you have the power to change it.