Life is a Teacher

Capability often manifests in the way in which we survive difficult events. For example, a long-time Buddhist practitioner I met recently had invested heavily in the stock market back in the 1990s, and when the market fell later in the decade, he lost everything. Many of his friends and partners had also lost a great deal of money, and some of them went a little crazy. Some lost confidence in themselves and their ability to make decisions; some fell into deep depression; others, like the people who lost money during the stock market crash of 1929, jumped out of windows.  But he didn’t lose his mind or his confidence, or fall into depression. Slowly, he began investing again and built up a new, solid financial base.

Seeing his apparent calm in the face of such a terrific downturn of events, a number of his friends and associates asked him how he was able to retain his equanimity. “Well,” he replied, “I got all this money from the stock market, then it went back to the stock market, and now it’s coming back. Conditions change, but I’m still here. I can make decisions. So maybe I was living in a big house one year and sleeping on a friend’s couch the next. That doesn’t change the fact that I can choose how to think about myself and all the stuff happening around me. I consider myself very fortunate, in fact. Some people aren’t capable of choosing and some people don’t recognize that they can choose. I guess I’m lucky because I fall into the category of people who are able to recognize their capacity for choice.”

Excerpt from Joyful Wisdom by Yongey Mingur Rinpoche.

 

When there are setbacks small or great, try to work on accepting what has happened. It is during life’s trials that we can truly find the capabilities within us, but only when we make adjustment to how we look at our predicaments.

  • Allow yourself to feel the various emotions (disappointment, anger, sadness, or fear) without judgment.  Show self-compassion.
  • Rather than dwelling on how you want life to be, say, “this is my situation now”. Let go of your fantasies. You may have to say again and again, “this is where I am” or “this is what I am going through.”
  • Ask yourself, “what can I learn from this situation?” or “what is this situation showing me what I need to work on?”

You’ll feel more empowered and take charge of your situation. You’ll be able to move on from it stronger and wiser. The longer it lasts, the more you’ll be honed.

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